i’m so bad with texting back or handling messages in general. one time my friend texted me and i was going to respond but instead i made a clutch investment in a small towel company and am now the CEO of the most successful towel company in the world and you will not fuck with me here do you understand me? i will run your shitty towel kickstarter into the goddamn dirt. this is my territory




I’m so glad my professor gives breaks in my class because the girl I’m sitting next to smells like thawing minced beef and if I hadn’t gotten some fresh air I would have choked to death

Fuck her raise ur hand tell professor u can’t learn shit the beef smell fukin up ya cranium brainal vertex cords roast her in front the whole class